While having a discussion at the office or at home, you should not forget the aim of the discussion. In many cases people forget this aim, and they only focus on the winning which makes other person feel defeated. The person who was defeated in a discussion almost always become hostile to the winner of discussion and they will not cooperate with the winner. After the discussion we have to go back to work, so we should cooperate with the discussion’s opponent, who is a team member at office or your family. To cooperate with the other members is the aim of discussion. So you should not attack the opponent.
And I propose some words of wisdom to remember the aim. They are “If You Want To Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over The Beehive” (If you want to persuade a person, you should not blame or attack a person.). This phrase was written in Dale Carnegie’s masterpiece, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. So when you discuss someone, ‘Don’t criticize, complain, or condemn! (these words of wisdom also written in Carnegie’s masterpiece.)